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31 pages 1 hour read

Peggy Orenstein

Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity

Peggy OrensteinNonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 2020

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Chapter 4Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Chapter 4 Summary and Analysis

In this chapter—"Get Used to It: Gay, Trans, and Queer Guys"—Orenstein shifts the focus to underrepresented groups in the context of masculinity, exploring the experiences of young gay men as they navigate their sexuality. Although public perception has become more inclusive, "LGBTQ+ teens remain exponentially more vulnerable than their straight peers to mental health crises, drug abuse, bullying, dating violence, and sexual assault, particularly when they have no family support" (107). Additionally, gay relationships, especially gay sex, are still seen by many as taboo. Orenstein highlights the fact that gay porn is the most consistent realm of representation for gay sex, which reinforces the idea that gay sex is something to be hidden away.

Orenstein tells the story of Devon, a trans man who shares his female-to-male transition story, along with anecdotes about dating as a trans man. As Devon's body changed, he was unsure of how and when he wanted to be touched. Furthermore, as Orenstein writes, "he grappled with the ethics of disclosure" (129). Eventually, Devon became more comfortable dating and having sex, but his journey was rife with trauma and self-doubt.